Thursday, May 30, 2013

So It Is Written

You darkened the beauty
with that cold wine
and I watched it spill across my heart
pulling it tight

the lock was made
and you fastened the door
my roses at your feet, crushed
stains upon your fingertips

I know the truth, it is written above
yet still I tried to dance
that awkward dance of love
that crucifying desire

and still the moon, and still the moon
opens her milk to the vastness of sky

Friday, May 24, 2013


when someone comes along and you share the telling of your soul it opens you, to the stars above and the dark waters, and as the hopes start to fire so the fears start to itch, one card with two sides, and there are those of us who jump from the precipice - we fly we do fly - and we smash many times. But in our flight we see the moon and drink from her silken lips. Oh milk of moon, calm our hearts. And let me live in gloriousness it is all I wish for*

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Essay on Love -via a letter to Giuseppe Conoci who had asked me to write about the subject

Caro Giuseppe

I can speak about the issue of love and separateness for a long time. Yes like two points on a rope; the heart is the measure in all things – as I have said before –everything can be determined by how near or far we are from that central point.

I feel human beings are making choices all the time; conscious and unconscious; to turn away, to close down,to disconnect. People seem to think that the less involvement they have the easier life is, all the time you can see it, people making decisions to be cool instead of warm. I dont understand it, I cant understand it; I am like a child running towards the playground of life and becoming upset when people don't want to play.

People think love is a prison, but I see it as the most perfect anarchy; it sets people free. When love comes to town then all stuck habits and fixed ideas get thrown around. People often fight love because very often it isn't comfortable or easy. Love brings up the deepest feelings, the hidden memories, the fears; it brings them up so they can be presented to the light but in that surfacing of fear many people become terrified and push it back down again. They stop love so that they can stay the same, remain unchanged.

I sometimes feel like I am not made for this world, because I am like a fool, I burn everytime on the fires of love, I drown in the seas, I run into the experience – my heart open. But I will continue to do it, because if I close my heart then I die.

I like what you say about homesickness– yes, a person separated from the heart is in exile from themselves and cannot reach home. And yet when another person comes to hold out a hand to them very often they turn away, they would rather stay in their distant land, because they dont know what will happen to them if they come back home, because maybe the last time they were home something bad happened.

And yet, it only takes meeting one person for maybe one minute and our faith can be restored, we can find magic again in our hearts and souls. And maybe people search for the one ideal romantic love, for that story, so that they can believe, because they really want to believe. And at the same time love can be in many places, with many people. But for how long? Is it the life long sustainable love that we crave? Because once we were babies, and our umbilical cord was cut, and now all we crave is to have that closeness again, to have that sea of life around us,that warmth, that trust.. even if actually our childhoods were not so beautiful .. inside ourselves, deep inside – we know the possibilities, the beauty, the safety of love. Unconditional love.

I dont think we should make our decisions in life because of our fears.. fear should not be our guide. Our scars should be worn with pride and experience; we can say 'I loved and I was hurt, I loved and I received joy.' We can love in a limitless way. Because the whole world is full of love. We can have unprotected love!

And yet, in my tired times, in my reflective times, my pain is so great that I can't feel the love that I want to feel and the waves of isolation come over me. Then I want the love of my father, the lovers that left me, I dont look at the many people here and now that love me with strength – no, I look at the ones that turned away and my pain swallows me, it is like a pain deep inside that wont let me go. But as the years go by, I learn to let it go, I learn to believe different things, I learn different stories about who I am, better stories. When I am in exile, when I am in pain, then I feel a long way from myself and the yearning in me is huge, all my soul, my core yearns for connectedness, and the desire for that becomes so great I feel that life is impossible to live. So, I have to soothe myself, and just get through until i come to a lighter place.

And I am my ancestors, painted blue, riding on magical horses – with the heart as the only measure.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Passion (Minotaur homage)

there is a thunderous roar under the earth
do you hear it
coming into your dreams

it is seeking you

and I

opening my legs with a power

a minotaur is on the loose
to make love with life
and throw out all the non believers

such a wonderous thing
to ascend into the night's grace
heated with an animal passion
annointed with kisses

kiss me
let us climax                 as a star                   galaxy

Monday, May 6, 2013

The Lost Elephant

I asked you to free the bears from the zoo
all the animals
but only if you could guarantee them safe passage to a Promised Land
it reminded you of your dream, an elephant that walked to your left then right
It had escaped you said
It's your memory I said
and for all the fears and the talking
won't you just feel my lips place a true kiss upon your scars and scarecrows
Don't you know for you I would open the Gardens of Babylon
for I know where their lush green lies, the map is within each poet's heart
with each fresh spring divined

Let me take you by the hand to the healing temples of Sumeria
to be consecrated by sacred water
and given back your song

Why would I do this you ask?
Because we have seen the moon together and for a moment became one being I said
even though your dark rememberings still push you underground